Monday 1 September 2014

ambiguous newspaper headlines

Can you follow these?

EYE DROPS OFF SHELF...

PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE
KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS
STOLEN PAINTING FOUND BY TREE
LUNG CANCER IN WOMEN MUSHROOMS
QUEEN MARY HAVING BOTTOM SCRAPED
DEALERS WILL HEAR CAR TALK AT NOON
MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH
MILK DRINKERS ARE TURNING TO POWDER
DRUNK GETS NINE MONTHS IN VIOLIN CASE
JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT
COMPLAINTS ABOUT NBA REFEREES GROWING UGLY
PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER
POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS
12 ON THEIR WAY TO CRUISE AMONG DEAD IN PLANE CRASH
KILLER SENTENCED TO DIE FOR SECOND TIME IN 10 YEARS
SAFETY EXPERTS SAY SCHOOL BUS PASSENGERS SHOULD BE BELTED
2 SISTERS REUNITED AFTER 18 YEARS AT CHECKOUT COUNTER
MAN EATING PIRANHA MISTAKENLY SOLD AS PET FISH
ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT
QUARTER OF A MILLION CHINESE LIVE ON WATER
INCLUDE YOUR CHILDREN WHEN BAKING COOKIES
OLD SCHOOL PILLARS ARE REPLACED BY ALUMNI
GRANDMOTHER OF EIGHT MAKES HOLE IN ONE
HOSPITALS ARE SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS
LAWMEN FROM MEXICO BARBECUE GUESTS
TWO SOVIET SHIPS COLLIDE, ONE DIES
ENRAGED COW INJURES FARMER WITH AX
LACK OF BRAINS HINDERS RESEARCH
RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGE
SQUAD HELPS DOG BITE VICTIM
IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS

... HERSHEY BARS PROTEST







Many explained here:

Which brings us to Crash Blossoms:



Newspaper headlines are written in a telegraphic style (headlinese) which often omits the copula creating syntactic ambiguity. The most common form being of the garden path type, as in "Farm Bill Dies in House".[1] The name "crash blossoms" was proposed for these ambiguous headlines by Danny Bloom in the Testy Copy Editors discussion group in August 2009. He based this on the headline "Violinist linked to JAL crash blossoms" that Mike O'Connell had posted, asking what such a headline could be called.[2] The Columbia Journalism Review regularly reprints such headlines in its "The Lower Case" column, and has collected them in the anthologies "Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim"[3] and "Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge".[4] Language Log also has an extensive archive of crash blossoms, for example "Infant Pulled from Wrecked Car Involved in Short Police Pursuit".[5]
Many purported crash blossoms are actually apocryphal or recycled.[6] One celebrated one from World War I is "French push bottles up German rear";[7] life imitated art in the Second World War headline "Eighth Army Push Bottles Up Germans".[8]
Additional examples:
British left waffles on Falklands
Did the British leave waffles behind, or is there waffling by the British political left wing?
Stolen painting found by tree.
Either a tree found a stolen painting, or a stolen painting was found sitting next to a tree.
Somali Tied to Militants Held on U.S. Ship for Months.
Either the Somali was held for months, or the Somali was just now linked to militants who were held for months. One could also imagine rope was involved, at which point lexical ambiguity comes into play.
Landmine claims dog arms company[9]
Either a landmine claimed that a dog was providing weapons to a company, or assertions about landmines were causing concern to a weapons supplier.

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